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| How to Keep Your Cool When You Are Criticized |
| Monday, January 1, 2007 |
Source : www.ehow.com
No matter what you say, it is never easy to be criticized. Here are some helpful hints on how to take the heat.
Instructions :
1. Show the person doing the criticizing that you heard his or her criticism, by pausing, nodding or giving some sort of verbal acknowledgment.
2. Ask for more information about the criticizer's comments to give you both time to cool down. Try to look for the criticizer's positive intent.
3. Reply with your perspective. Remain calm, and the other person, if agitated, will eventually calm down, too; it will be embarrassing to lose his or her cool while you remain relaxed.
4. Listen for commonalities between your perspective and your critic's, and build from them.
5. Ask for comments on your viewpoint.
6. Try rephrasing your ideas.
7. Demonstrate your desire to find a compromise. Look for what the criticizer's real objection is and how you can solve it; ask if he or she has a solution in mind.
8. Remember that you can't always please everyone. Ask yourself whether there's truth in your critic's complaints, or whether this may be someone you just can't make happy.
Tips & Warnings
- If you believe you're being lied to, ask your critic some questions and attempt to discern what is true or false.
- Take the Meyers-Briggs personality test for free over the Internet. You might discover that what's going on is a personality clash rather than a conflict about you as such.
- If you can't keep your cool, ask for the meeting to be rescheduled so that you can listen without losing your temper.
- If you find yourself overreacting to the criticism, it's usually because you're afraid of losing something. What is it? Are your fears valid?
- If you encounter conflict frequently, you may be very stressed. Consider counseling, or try settling down with some aromatherapy or other stress-management devices.
- Avoid interrupting with defensive remarks. When people feel they aren't being heard, they will only come on stronger.
- Often, people criticize without referring to an underlying conflict. If you don't figure out what the real conflict is, you'll never resolve the problem.
- If you embarrass the critic, you may lose his or her attention.Labels: Relations with colleagues |
posted by PBS Atmodjo @ 12:14 AM  |
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